killerville:

french girls drink wine naked in the bath and it’s hot, but i drink a case of 4 loko naked in the starfish touch tank at sea world and it’s “probably like 50 felonies, you monster.” whatever, OFFICER


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(Source: asph-exia)

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cannonballt1tcomb:

a marine was in a college class taught by a liberal gay demon professor. one day the professor said “if god is real, he will suck my dick” after ten minutes of silence the tough marine got up from his seat and sucked the liberal aclu professor’s dick. the professor came. “what did you do that for?” the marine answered “god was busy building ford trucks shirtless so he sent me to suck dick”


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seriousjones:

officer you don’t understand. i was shotgunning this bud light and i just so happened to be sitting in the front seat of my idling car. i wasn’t actually driving. do you remember language arts class in middle school? well, think back to when you learned about metaphors


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michaellamartin:

Saturday Swings.[More photography from Michael LaMartin]
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(Source: jeremykaye)

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